It Burned Like Fire

One day, not long from now, someone will take me away. She will come like a strong gush of the Northern wind, storming everything in its path, wrecking every conceivable structural defense propped up, and leaving everyone destroyed.

One day, not long from now, someone will come and she will command me in ways I have never obeyed before, demanding every inch of my flesh, ripping apart any reluctance I may have, to conquer my soul.

One day, not long from now, when everything’s been said and done, she will come like a vengeance … prying everything hidden, unmasking everything covered. Of noble birth she comes, yet gives nothing but trouble.

One day, not long from now, she will eat every bone in my body and spit it at her whim. Her capricious mood I will serve, while she rests her feet on my back. She will taunt me with pleasure, while her smile I will treasure. She will cajole me with treats, yet demand for my subservience.

One day, not long from now, roles will be reversed and she will be my master and I her slave. She will drag me from my post as I taste the bitter tang of earth. She will strip my very soul naked, baring even my shadow.

One day, not long from now, I will no longer breathe the sweet air of freedom … I will no longer live for me … but for her.

One day, not long from now, she will come to haunt me in my dreams and slay every God I prayed to, while banish every demon I’ve feared.

One day, not long from now, she will laugh at all my dreams as she crushes them onto her feet. She will do all these things because she had the arrogance of knowing the Truth, my Truth.

One day, not long from now, she will come for me and take me away from all the comfort I have ever known … and torture me with the Unknown.

I will leave her, oh how I will try … I will reason, rationalize, argue, debate, lie, steal, cheat or borrow more time on this earth. I will force her to release me … beg the gods, pray to demons, ask mercy for all the sins I have committed.

But even Hope shall abandon me for she who comes for me holds the Key. It unlocks one area in my soul that has been forever shut. It opens the door to the core of my being … because no matter how far I go, no matter how long it takes … she will find me … one day, not long from now.

I will follow her … I will obey her … because not to do so seared my skin as the sun melts the ice. Not to do so eats away every memory I ever had, peeling away the very skin of my body, hurting, painfully, most cruelly … because not to do so … burned my soul like fire.

One day, not long from now …


About Asmartrock

N. Mark Castro is the Southeast Asia Director of JUMP DIGITAL Asia, which is an internationally-awarded and fully integrated digital marketing agency with 5 out of 10 offices in the ASEAN region. He is also the Secretary General of the Philippine Business Club Indonesia, managing and assisting the traffic of investments between the Philippines and Indonesia. He shuttles between Indonesia, Philippines, Myanmar, Singapore, Cambodia, and Australia. The views posted here are his own and do not in any way reflect the views of the companies he represents.

Posted on December 6, 2012, in General and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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Charlotte Setijadi

Anthropologist & Contemporary Historian of Chinese Diaspora in Southeast Asia


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