Dhespithable Me

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  • Wrote The Holy Bible in under an hour with one hand tied behind my back
  • Ruled the Philippines with an iron fist from 1972-1986
  • Taught Bill Gates a thing or two early on in life
  • Co-founded a fruit company called Apple
  • Discovered every element in the periodic table, except that stupid Boron
  • Broke nine out of ten rules in the Ten Commandments
  • Filled in for Satan during his unsuccessful fight with Michael
  • Invented blinking, perfected lying, cheating, pillaging, imagining a woman undress and daydreaming without anyone else noticing
  • Won an Oscar and Palm D’Or Awards for being the Best Wall Decor in a movie
  • Named every animal on the planet
  • Enticed a naked woman to eat the apple
  • Can burp on command
  • Can make my eyes cross without hurting
  • Won the Phulixer, Phulisther, Puliste, that damn award they give to writers except had to return in due to spelling errors
  • Understudy as the Fifth Horseman (what? there are only four? well, only because I haven’t been approved yet)
  • Ask any of my ex-girlfriends, I’m faster than a speeding in bullet

Ask money from my dad
Ask money from my mom
Ask money from my boss

  1. Dear asmartrock,

    My name is Joyce and I work for ExpatFinder.com.
    ExpatFinder.com is a free one stop website for people preparing to move or working and living overseas. We provide a myriad of services for expatriates and we have over 2,000 articles to help and support the people moving around the world and we are now creating an interview section to help the expats with real life experiences!
    We quite enjoy your blog about living in Indonesia, it is very interesting and informative. Would it be possible to interview you to further share some of your tips and feature some of your first hand experience as an Expat and your interview will be published on our Expat Interview section as a guide for our expat readers. The questions are mainly about the day to day lifestyle of an expat. If it would be possible, could you also send some photographs that we can use?
    Of course, if you accept, we can add a link to your blog or some of your website.
    The questions are enclosed, feel free to respond freely. You can return the doc with your answers if you accept this invitation.
    Thanks in advance and do let me know if you prefer other means to conduct this interview and we would be happy to accommodate your terms.

    Best regards,
    Joyce

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